The Expendables

Exactly the movie you expect it to be. If you think you're going to like this loud, violent action packed all-star rally movie, you're probably going to like it. If you think you're not going to like it, there's nothing I saw in the film that would make you change your mind. Stallone delivers pretty much as advertised.
I expected to like it and did.

Stallone plays Barney Ross, the leader of a mercenary team that includes Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren ) Hale Caesar ( Terry Crews) and Toll Road ( wrestler Randy Couture). Yes, I know, but the jokey names are not played up so don't worry about that. Mickey Roarke plays a tattoo artist and retired Expendable aptly named Tool.

After stopping some Somalian pirates (by stopping I mean killing) Barney is summoned by the mysterious Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) to interview for the job of taking out a south American dictator, General Garza (David Zayas). His competion is his old partner (Arnold Schwartzenegger). The meeting between the three action stars is as foul mouthed yet fun as can be. Despite the green screen, its probably the highlight of the film.

Ross and Christmas go to the island nation to scout out the job. There they meet the lovely rebel Sandra (Giselle Itie) who is to be their local guide. They discover Garzas is in league with an ex-CIA operative played by Eric Roberts. But they are found out and have to make a thrilling escape and start killing some more extras. Ross decides the job is too dangerous and decides to turn it down on behalf of the team. But he can't leave the girl back there without help so he decides to go it alone. Of course his loyal team won't let him go alone and its game on.

You get just what you paid for then. Stallone fighting impossible odds? Check. Lots of explosions? Naturally. A face off between wrestlers Couture and Stone Cold Steve Austin? You got it! Another Jason Statham action fight scene? You got it! Jet Li demonstrating his martial art skills? You got it! Some scenes that make absolutely no sense? Of course!  Hot bimbo babes with little to do but look sultry. Yes. Big boobs, big guns, big knives, big men.

Yes, at 64 Stallone is pushing the envelope as an action star, and his skin has so many red and blue lines he looks like a living roadmap, but he pulls it off just as Lee Marvin did in his later roles (this has a lot of similarity to Marvin's later "Dirty Dozen" films). The Arnold-Bruce Willis-Stallone scene is a real highlight and Jet Li gets to show off his comic abilities. Statham was smart to play Brad Pitt to Stallone's Clooney and is good as usual. Only wonder why if Sly was going to bring back Drago (Dolph Lungren, Rocky 4) that he didn't bring back Clubber Lang (Mr. T, Rocky 3). Perhaps for the sequel. Yes, Stallone is already talking sequel and "keeping the cast make up fluid", so perhaps there's still hope for Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal (the Fat action hero), Wesley Snipes, Chuck Norris and the late Charles Bronson. Maybe we'll even see Arnold come back. Anything to get him out of the governor's office!