Planet 51

I didn't want to see this movie, but Megan Fox insisted. "It'll be fun," she said with a wink and a knowing smile. For the first ten minutes she was right. The film started out with a nice parody of sci-fi movies of the 1950's where aliens invade earth so they can turn us into zombies and destroy. We meet the main character of Lem (Justin Long), who works at the observatory and has a crush on Neera (Jessica Biel) the cute girl next door and sister of his friend Eckle (Freddie Benedict) and his buddy Skiff (Seean William Scott). Every thing is cute and charming at this point. And then astronuat Captain Charles Baker (Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson) arrives.

For some unknown reason (perhaps to get him as far away as possible) NASA sends astronaut Baker to Planet 51, which is halfway across the galaxy from earth. They send him without any other crew. They send him without knowing the planet is inhabited and the inhabitants speak english. They send him without knowing the atmosphere is breathable. They apparently send him to plant a flag on the planet and come home. He has no real mission.

But of course the planet IS inhabited. Fearing that Baker is out to conquor the planet instead of just annoy it, the Army is alerted and Baker becomes hunted. It is only with the help of Lem, his friends and a automatic Rover that looks suspiciously like WALL-E but acts like a playful puppy that Baker is able to keep from being captured and killed. Along the way Baker shows an amazing lack of curiousity about the inhabitants of the planet and tries to befriend Lem by showing what a unfunny boor he can be. Of course, they become friends.

Then Baker is captured by the evil General Grawl (Gary Oldman in a particularly forgettable performance) and Professor Kibble (John Cleese) who wants to cut open Baker and take out his brain (though the evidence indicates someone has already beaten him to it). It is up to Lem and his friends to try and rescue the trapped astronaut.

 Screenplay by Joe Stillman

Directed by Jorge Blanco and Javier Abad

Still from a scene not actually in "Planet 51". The owner of the paper has apparently just read a review of the movie.

I was very disappointed by "Planet 51" after the opening minutes. It was a terrible mistake to give Baker the character they gave him. This has been described as "E.T. in reverse". They wish. Only if E.T. ran around crazy all the time, talked about himself insessently and constantly annoyed rather than charmed the viewer. For this blame has to go to writer Joe Stillman. Stillman was a writer on the first two "Shrek" films and did "King of the Hill" as well as "Beavis and Butthead". He should know better.

The animation unit, Ilion animation, is centered in Spain and did a nice job creating the world of Planet 51. I also think the directors did a nice job. A much better job in fact than whoever cast the film. With the exception of Long, Biel and Cleese, the rest of the cast is a waste. Someone as bombastic as Shatner was needed to voice a character like General Grawl and Oldman did not measure up. A number of character bits might also have been saved with some savy casting, but t'was not to be.

All that's left is the beginning of what could have been a special movie and a parade of parody moments including "Star Wars", "The Day the Earth Stood Still", "Plan 9 From Outer Space", "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", "2001", "War of the Worlds", "Singing in the Rain", "Full Metal Jacket", "The Terminator", "E.T.", "Alien", "Spies Like Us" and "The Right Stuff"...and of course Megan Fox. Since we spent the first part of the night doing what SHE wanted to do...YES!